Relationships and IC Stress: 3 Ways to Help Manage Them

bladder, bladder pain, chronic prostatitis, fibromyalgia, GERD, IBS, IC, Interstiial cystitis, Uncategorized, vulvodynia, , , , ,

stress free zone totally relaxed without any work pressure succeAny chronic disease produces stress  The stress can be good or it can be bad  When stress is managed well there are adaptive behavioral patterns that are adopted that lead to changes that help heal or place the person in situations that help them have unique insights about their disease  Whether the disease is IC or its sister related labels of IBS, GERD, vulvodynia, fibromyalgia, or chronic prostatitis matters little  What’s important is how the individual deals with the stress

But as we know stress can be damaging and affect our ability to heal usually because the stress brings lack of mental clarity and confusionsi

Chronic Disease and Relationships

Anyone with chronic disease of any kind will have challenges in relationships unless their disease is not significantly advanced or adaptive patterns are developed well enough to manage through issues at hand whatever they may be

But with advanced disease support becomes very important and one is blessed when one has systems in place(IC groups or understanding spouses or friends) that can acknowledge that the person is not alone with their challenge

What is not very adaptive are forums or groups where victimized mentality is supported or even advocated  When this kind of dynamic is set in motion it stifles creativity, clarity, and personal responsibility for the disease

3 Management Tools in Relationships

When we are “up against it” so to speak there is value…. particularly in dealing with close relationships…. in keeping in mind what I believe are sound guidelines for not impairing our relationships with others

1  Give up the need for control  Whenever chronic disease occurs and we are constantly reminded of the disease because of symptoms it brings up fear for each and every one of us   We all fear the unknown and the lack of knowing where this chronic disease is taking us is very frightening  When we get into fear one of the first things we reach for is to control  This gives us a feeling of stability and groundedness  Unfortunately if this need for control spills over into our relationships, then they feel controlled  If one just has the awareness of this there will be great understanding as to your relationships with others

2 Practice unconditional love  Make a deal with yourself that no matter what happens in any relationship that there is complete acceptance of what is  This is the practice of unconditional love…complete and total acceptance of what is  You may not like it but accept it as what is  No trying to change it….wishing it were different….wishing the other person was different…just accept as what is  This can be very liberating and usually leads to resolution of needing to control or #3

3 Watch and Be Aware of Reaction  A reaction is like an automatic reflex, like the knee being tapped at the doctor’s office and the leg automatically responds  Unfortunately emotional knee jerk responses are disabling and can play havoc in relationships  The Vata and Pitta energy patterns which are imbalanced in the disease of IC can lead to impatience and potentially knee jerk emotional responses

So what I would suggest is that you place these on your mirror and review them every morning until they are part of you  I’m not in control, I totally accept everything that occurs, and I will not react to anything in my awareness

Best of health in healing IC  DB

About Dr Bill Dean

Dr Bill Dean began practicing urology in 1979 and retired from practice in 2011 to begin a complementary medicine fellowship at the Ayurvedic Institute in Albuquerque, New Mexico He has chosen the use of social media to reach out to the many who are interested in exploring an effective systematic approach to IC that is different to what is presently offered by traditional urology practices This can lead to helping people implement the practical applications of this knowledge either with one on one interaction or with support groups New information that can be used to improve health requires changes in habits which are not supportive to change “When the current allopathic healing approach doesn’t have an answer Ayurveda can certainly shed light and help with difficult clinical problems This is because of how the 2 models do their healing” Early in his budding urology career as a resident he researched a condition called chronic urethritis in women Now in retrospect this was his beginning study of IC since it is labeled so many different ways Dr Bill became interested in the complementary medical discipline of Ayurveda with the Chopra organization in 1995 This introduction showed him the science behind the discipline that was grounded in modern physics In 2000 having his own medical problems he sought help at the Ayurvedic Institute and over the years has watched his health dramatically improve Chronic edema from varicose veins cleared, longstanding bowel issues gradually resolved with resultant improved decreased bone density, clearance of longstanding skin lesions, and an improved healthy understanding of relationships He realized tools and techniques that could be used to reverse the disease process But what was startling was that he began seeing healing in a more complete way This improvement in his health brought enthusiasm to use some simple therapies in his urology practice for IC since there were no consistently good results with standard therapies in urology In 2005 he wrote a paper on the results of a study showing the improvement of men women and children using an Ayurvedic nutrition and aloe The results are reported at icdiet.com [http://icdiet.com/] In 6 weeks 91% of the patients had a 50% reduction in symptoms This was indeed exciting and energized Dr Bill to continue expanding on this approach to healing In the ensuing years of practice he continued to help his patient’s pain with what he now calls an energy science of healing This led to the 2010 publication of Foods Heal: Why Certain Foods Help You Feel Your Best [http://bit.ly/cIk3nZ] which uses the nutritional model to show the differences between the current matter science medical discipline and the Ayurvedic or what he terms the energy science medical discipline Says Dr Bill “Many debilitating diseases in the West are not adequately managed since in the matter science medical model the origins of disease are not well understood The energy science medical model has room for how diseases in the body begin This is the key to helping with these debilitating conditions that we have today” So Dr Bill wants to show people who come to him how this energy science of Ayurveda can heal IC “That’s a tall order” he says, “but with my past experience and what I have learned during my fellowship it is definitely possible if IC sufferers want to take on the challenge” Dr Bill is married and has 3 children and 5 grandchildren

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